Don't Speak
by wandira
Summary: Can the trust between soul mates survive a betrayal?
1. Don't Speak

Disclaimer-I doesn't own the anything from the books or the song, which is by No Doubt.

_**You and me, we used to be together, everyday together always **_

Just last year Harry and Hermione had spent their every waking moment together and been totally absorbed with each other, so much so that Ron had become extremely jealous of their intimacy. They had both truly believed that they were soul mates that would tell each other anything and be together forever.

I really feel that I'm losin my best friend.

Neither of them knew how or why they let it happen but over the holidays a giant rift developed between them and all of a sudden they felt awkward around each other. Hermione knew she could never tell him about it. It would hurt him too much.

**_I can't believe this could be the end_**

Harry sensed she had a very important secret but he could not imagine why she could not tell him when they had always know each other inside out. He felt alone and isolated from her. He knew that something life changing had happened to her and he also knew she had not told anything about it, no one except him had noticed a change in her.

It looks as though you're letting go and if it's real, well, I don't want to know.

Hermione didn't even think he'd noticed the change in her. She thought he was too busy flirting with the other girls or hanging out with Ron. She had decided that their connection had all been in her mind and that he didn't care, but she needed someone to talk to. She could never deal with this on her own but she didn't want to burden anyone with her problems and drag them to the horrible, lonely place where she was.

Harry was becoming increasingly worried about her. Every time she avoided his eyes or sat on the other side of the room to be away from him his mind began the endless cycle of trying to work out how to help her. He had t least talk to her and find out what was wrong. He threw a note at her- _I need to talk to you. I know something's wrong and even if you don't want to trust me anymore for whatever reason; I'm going to help you. Come for a walk with me after lunch since potions was cancelled. _

The note terrified Hermione but now she knew he cared. She had promised herself that she wouldn't tell anyone, and she had been avoiding him because she knew that he was the only one she trusted enough to tell.

_**Don't speak…I know just what you're sayin, so please stop explaining.**_

They both sat through lunch silently and when Hermione stood up to leave Harry gave her a look that let her know she wouldn't get away that easily. He gently took her hand and they walked outside.

They walked silently until eventually Hermione broke down and began sobbing violently. Between her sobs she spluttered " I can't", "I won't", " I didn't". Harry sat her down against a tree and tried to comfort her. When she had calmed down enough to talk in full sentences she said " I can't tell you this you'll never see me the same again, I can't even believe I let it happen".

He replied softly "Nothing could change the way I view you that much. You know everything there is to know about me. I just want to help. We both know you have to tell someone."

_**Don't tell me cause it hurts  
**_

"Ok but you know how much this has stuffed me up and if anyone but you find outs I will kill you". She said with absolute conviction in her eyes. She began again very slowly " I can't believe I let her in, I should have had more judgement, but she was just so nice, I told her everything about me, things that only you knew before that. She betrayed me. I don't think I can trust anyone ever again ". She began to cry again only more out of relief this time.

_**Don't speak. I know what you're thinking **_

" Oh Hermione how could this change our connection, so you let a girl inside your head and she hurt you, I still care that you got hurt and I'm not going to judge you for trusting her. Just because she betrayed you doesn't mean anyone or I else will though, please don't punish me for what she did". Harry was hurt by her assumptions but he could tell this girl had spread something awful about her.

_**I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts.**_

She knew he was right but she couldn't get rid of the pain that Monique had caused her. She knew she would never get over it but somehow knowing Harry cared helped her to feel protected and safe from anyone else doing it to her again. She had assumed he would just call her a lesbian and do exactly as she had, even though the girls relationship hadn't been like that.

**_Our memories, well, they can be inviting, but some are altogether mighty frightening._**

She wished so much that she could forget Monique forever because the memory of her betrayal was the source of her life becoming a nightmare. She knew she could never trust again and although Monique caused all her pain she was still unable to erase her from her mind.

As we die, both you and I with my head in my hands I sit and cry.

Harry felt as though there was nothing he could do for her but he was still hurt and felt numb from the knowledge that his one true soul mate had become incapable of trust. He hated Monique and wished that she never existed so he could have her all to himself again. He knew she would never leave Hermione while she lived.

_**  
Don't speak I know just what you're saying so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts, no, no, no.  
**_

They both knew that nothing more needed to be said and sat for hours holding each other trying to come to terms with what she had told him. Harry was hurt by her news but he was more hurt at the fact that she couldn't trust him. Hermione was still scarred from it but somehow telling him, however bad it could have been, had helped both of them.

Don't speak I know what you're thinking .I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts

They felt as though they could never leave the comfort of each other's arms and their tears turned from tears of sadness and anger to tears of joy and relief. Things may never be the same between them after the secret but they could feel each other and each found comfort purely in the others presence.

It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...

The walls that Hermione had had up since Monique had been built to last but when she was sin Harry's arms they began to weaken at an alarming rate. The would always be there but somehow he saw through them and always would.

You and me… I can see us dying...are we?

They both felt as though they had been through a death-defying event but they had come through the worst of it even if issues were still there. They were tired and weary and eventually without even needed to ask each other they decided that since it was time for dinner they had better return.

Don't speak. I know just what you're saying so please stop explaining.  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

They entered the school red eyed but smiling and suddenly they realised how little all off the strange looks they were getting bothered them. They didn't need to talk to each other about ti they knew their connection was repaired as much as possible never to be broken again.

Don't speak. I know what you're thinking and I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't tell me cause it hurts! I know what you're saying so please stop explaining.

When they had finished eating and it was time to return to their dorms everyone knew that Harry would follow Hermione and spend the night comforting her and feeling strong and in control for once. Harry hadn't even thought about it but he followed her into her room and as no one said anything he lay down in her single bed with her and they tried to sleep, hoping that tonight would be different.

Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak, oh I know what you're thinking and I don't need your reasons

After about an hour of silence Hermione fell asleep. She began to dream, she began to cry. Harry couldn't bear to see her like it so he gently woke her. She knew why and thanked him quietly before their special silence returned.

I know you're good, I know you're good, I know you're real good. Oh, la la la la la la. La la la la don't, don't, uh-huh.

After it happened again Harry began singing to her to help her fall asleep with happy thoughts. He didn't know why he did it because he never sang but it felt right.

Hush, hush darlin', Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts. Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me

cause it hurts.

Eventually they both fell asleep and for those few hours at least it seemed that everything was all right.

A/n- hope whoever read this likes it… please review and tell me what you thought, even if you hated it. I'm sure I can deal with it. If you haven't please r&r my other stuff too. I'll love you forever if you do.


	2. The Special Two

Disclaimer- well I don't own Harry Potter and I don't own Missy Higgins' song The Special Two either so yeah please r &r

**I've hardly been outside my room in days,' cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.**

After she told Harry about Monique Hermione could no longer bear to see anyone. She locked herself in the dorm and refused to leave. She would only let others in when it was an emergency. She couldn't bear to see anyone.

The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away, and it was then I realized the conscience never fades.

She couldn't bear the feelings that she'd held in for so long and she could not shake her guilt over not having confided in Harry earlier. She was spiralling further and further into the black hole that her life had become.

When you're young you have this image of your life: that you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife.

She had always believed that no one could stand in the way of her dreams of greatness and true love. Monique had done both.

**And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross, and if you happen to you wake completely lost.**

Hermione had always been very scared of getting hurt by people. It had taken Harry a long time to make her feel comfortable being so close but because he was so gentle and nice to her it had all been all right. Monique had gone into her soul almost as far and ripped it to pieces. Her trust was broken forever.

But I will fight for you, be sure that 

**I will fight until we're the special two once again.**

Harry had been hurt almost as much by finding out about Monique but all he thought about was helping her feel safe and protected again. He stayed outside her room for hours before she let him in. Finally the lock on the door clicked and without saying anything he walked in surrounded her with his protection once again.

**And we will only need each other, we'll bleed together, our hands will not be taught to hold another's,' cause we're the special two.**

She already knew that he was the only person who could teach her to trust again but his gentle kindness since he had found out had made her even more sure that no one would ever go as far into her soul as he had. As long as he was there she was safe and happy.

**And we could only see each other, we'll breathe together, these arms will not be taught to need another's, 'cause we're the special two.**

They lay on her bed for hours in silence but they both knew that nothing could be said to fix what had happened, only time could do that. For now they just lived for each other and in each other.

I remember someone old once said to me: "That lies will lock you up with truth the only key."

They both had finally realised how they needed each other and couldn't stay apart. Neither of them bothered to try and hide anything from each other anymore, no matter how insignificant they seemed. They knew absolutely everything and anything about each other.

But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell and couldn't see this place could soon become my hell.

Hermione had wanted to retreat and hide forever after her dealing with Monique but as long as Harry was there she knew it was ok. It had hurt her to hide purely because of him. Eventually she began to be able to talk about it without breaking down. She was learning to live and trust again ever so slowly. Harry could see it and it brought happiness back into both of their lives.

**So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face? Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place.**

After he found out that she had kept such a big thing from him he had been very hurt but he could never be annoyed with her for long. She had found it so hard to tell him because she wasn't sure how he'd react and now she just felt guilty for not going to him straight away. He was the only one who could help her through that.

I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now, but if by chance you change your mind you know I will not let you down 'cause we were the special two, and will be again.

She felt so guilty and wouldn't have been surprised if he'd never talked to her again after all she'd told him and then taken back with her actions. Yet he still was the only one who seemed to care and who was always there for her.

**And we will only need each other, we'll bleed together, our hands will not be taught to hold another's, 'cause we're the special two.**

If it was possible Harry and Hermione became closer than ever. Nobody even tried to understand what it was between them, they just wished they could find something like it. They dedicated their lives to each other. Harry's gentle compassion continued to heal Hermione's bleeding heart, she could feel the pain leaving her and knew it was all because of him.

**And we could only see each other, we'll breathe together,**

**these arms will not be taught to need another's, 'cause we're the special two.**

They could not be separated. In fact the girls in Hermione's dorm had given up on trying to get Harry to leave each night. They knew Hermione would scream and cry in her dreams if he wasn't there. The lived entangled in each other's love.

**I step outside my mind's eye's for a minute. And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease, or something that could ease the pain. But nothing cures the hurt you bring on by yourself, just remembering, just remembering how we were...**

Two months after she had told Harry Hermione sat thinking about what had happened. She realised that while it hurt her to think of Monique it was nowhere near as painful as it had been. It would never go away but somehow now she knew Harry would protect her from ever feeling too much pain over it.

**When we would only need each other, we'd bleed together, these hands would not be taught to hold another's, 'cause we're the special two.**

She ran to Harry's arms yet again and was almost suffocated by his love. She fell into his blanket of support and just cried for the last time. She was finally letting go of Monique. He knew this and let her release it all. In that moment neither of them knew that anything except them existed or ever had. They held each other all night and for the rest of their lives.

**And we could only see each other, we'd bleed together, these arms will not be taught to need another's, 'cause we're the special two.**


End file.
